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I have not written in a while, so I am rusty…

I have mentioned before I think that I started really holding my parents accountable a greater deal when I had my own kid/kids. It was like a veil was lifted: things can be different, and they should be different.

I have worked A LOT with my past trauma in order to become a better mom, a better wife, and overall a better human being.

The first time I entered the psychologist’s office he asked me: Why are you here? I am so angry, and it’s starting to affect me and the way I act with the kids.. that needs to change. And little by little I did.

I am YEARS away from being what I would need to be, but the beast is tamed… I know what to do when my past crawls up on me and chokes me.

I would ask the adults in my life where they were when I needed them; useless question now but still. I have understood that they had their own unhealed issues which they did not acknowledge and let make them crappy parents.

This stops with me. I am set to break that circle of abuse and neglect that led to so many broken kids becoming broken adults. I am happy to see around me that little by little, our kids’ generation will grow up having their parents in their corner.

For those of you who still struggle… try and find at least a friend to help you. Look into your kids’ eyes and try to be better for them.

The final words are not mine but reflect a conversation I had with my demons:

(You’ll never evolve) I know I can change
(We are not enough) we are not the same
(You don’t have the heart) you don’t have the strength
(You don’t have the will) you don’t have the faith
(You’ll never be loved) you’ll never be safe
(Might as well give up) not running away
(You don’t have the guts) you’re the one afraid
I’m the one in charge
I’m taking the (no)
I’m taking the

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